Sacrificing Humanity
by brinewater
Summary: When Erwin, Levi, and Hanji have to deal with the reality of "sacrificing humanity", as it hits too close to home.


Sacrificing Humanity

Erwin Smith/OC

Hello! Here's my first fanfic! Well, I don't know where all the Erwin Smith fans are, because I'm sure that there **MUST BE SOME** **OUT THERE**, and there's little to no fanfics about this gorgeous man at the moment, so I decided that he needs a little love. This is a Levi/Hanji (my OTP, even though Levi/Erwin is kind of growing on me) and Erwin/OC (OC's name is Jane) one-shot. I'm not sure when this takes place, but I'm thinking maybe during the time when the expert soldiers went to go kill the rest of the titans after Eren closed up Wall Rose. Not sure that I did all the characters justice, but here's something to the awesome (Handsome) Commander of the Survey Corps!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own this wonderful manga. Fortunately, I don't own this wonderful manga, because Hajime Isayama is just so amazing at what he does.

* * *

i. Hanji

"Go!" Jane shouted, gesturing her hand frantically for her comrades to leave. "I'll catch up!"

They moved at her command, nodding and swiftly using their 3D maneuver gear to swing towards the nearest building. The only one left next to her was Hanji, who was squinting at something in the distance. Her eyes widened, and she jumped.

"There's a 10m class titan coming this way, Jane!" She shouted, pulling her best friend to her feet.

"Wait, Hanji- don't". A click of something metal resounded, and Hanji stared down at Jane's gear, horrified.

It was broken, hanging in three shattered parts from the belt. As their attack group met on top of an abandoned building to receive orders for how to proceed, Jane had been sitting down with her knees pulled up against her chest. No one thought much of it, as others had collapsed in weariness around her. The broken gear must have been hidden under the Survey Corps cloak the entire time, and Hanji didn't pay particular attention to the way Jane had wrapped herself in the green fabric, as she had done it since their trainee days. Before Hanji should say anything, a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"You have to go. I know your wires are thinned out, so you can't take both of us." Jane said in a firm voice.

"No, there's got to be some way out of this- maybe we can try- or…" The scientist shook her head and started rambling, wracking her brain furiously for some kind of solution. Her hands trembled, dried blood cracking and peeling away like maroon scales as she clenched and unclenched her fists. She couldn't think properly, all of her thoughts led to either both of them or one of them dead. There wasn't a way out.

"Hanji!" Jane pleaded, pushing her friend away from her. "You have to survive; don't sacrifice yourself just to die with me. Go for me. Go for Levi, please."

Tears streamed down both of the woman's cheeks. Hanji screamed in frustration as her best friend of six years, smiled bravely. This was what they were about. Sacrificing all that they have to fight the enemy, this is what they were.

They were soldiers.

"I'll get the titan; you'll have enough time to make it out." Jane said calmly, tightening her grip on her swords. "Tell Erwin," she faltered, "Well, you know." Giving one last glance at the brunette in front of her, she jumped off the roof, down into the abandoned street.

Hanji collapsed to her knees, watching her friend run off to battle with the enormous titan. She had two choices. She could either go fight to the death with Jane as more titans would arrive, or she could go back to base, alive. If she died, she would have killed herself in selfishness, to die with a friend, when she knew that she was one of the best soldiers in the corps, and also the most knowledgeable about titans. She would be betraying humanity, committing suicide when her skills were needed. However, if she went back, there would be no chance of possibly saving Jane.

This was too hard.

How did Erwin and Pixis do this? How did they live with sacrificing so many of their men?

"Go Hanji! Now!" Jane shouted, grunting as she dodged a titan's hand.

They did it for humanity.

They all did it for humanity. She and Jane have been fighting for that cause their whole lives. They lost an uncountable number of friends every year, because they all harbored the same hope, that someday, people would be free. The right thing to do was leave for base, and Jane knew it before Hanji could process it.

It's just that it hurt that much more when you had to choose the cause, over killing your friend: to intentionally defend that belief with your heart. She would become a murdere-

"I chose this, Hanji Zoe! I know what I'm doing!" Jane yelled, tumbling between the legs of the titan, slashing her swords as she went. "I'm begging you, go!"

Hanji wept with her head down, tears falling onto the lens of her glasses.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, before turning around and heading the opposite direction.

* * *

ii. Levi

When he saw Hanji tumble to the ground at the front of base, face-planting into the dirt, Levi frowned.

Her hair was a mess, locks of brownish auburn strewn about everywhere, smeared with streaks of blood and dust. He had tied her ponytail with two bands this morning! How the hell did she get it like that? The corporal let out a breath and started walking towards the crumpled soldier. Maybe he should just give up on trying to manage her hair.

Once he got closer, he noticed something was wrong. She hadn't gotten up yet.

Hanji was motionless, with her face still buried. Her arms and legs were spread out and all signs of movement were absent from her body. It was like she wasn't breathing.

She looked dead, even though he saw her walking moments before.

Breaking into a sprint, Levi dashed towards her, hoping that she wasn't as injured as she seemed to be. He skidded to a stop on his knees and pulled her limp form towards him, flipping her over.

Panting, Hanji clutched the wrist holding her.

"Jane's gone." She coughed out, dirt clinging to her face and trickling into her eyes and mouth.

Levi froze for a second, dealing with the flurry of emotions that was threatening to break his control. Hanji sobbed, hugging him. He embraced her tightly, and stood up with her in his arms.

His vision was blurred. Jane, one of his best friends, died. They had lost her to titans, the way they lost everyone else. Some stupid, fucking, giant had torn her apart, and eaten her. Fuck.

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to move.

Soldiers around the area had heard what happened, some breaking out into tears at the loss of their comrade. Jane was well-liked amongst the units for her warmth and affection. She had the keen ability to make anybody laugh, even Levi, on his worst days, and since she was the youngest and smallest of them all, most of them had also regarded her as a younger sister.

Pearlman, a soldier from his unit, softly announced that he would go tell Erwin. Levi nodded to him in silent appreciation before turning to go.

God, how would Erwin take it?

But it wasn't only him; all of them were taking it hard. Hanji lay in his arms, breaking into pieces, and even he was starting feel like this was just some kind of bad dream.

He walked slowly to his room, and then to the adjoining bathroom next door. He carefully set Hanji on her feet and steered her towards the bath he had drawn, sticking a hand in the water. Annoyed, Levi wiped his hands on his pants. It had cooled down to a lukewarm temperature, as he had filled it up hours ago, but he wasn't going to waste water to warm it. They would be fine.

"Hanji," he called out quietly, "we've got to get washed up now."

Robotically, she raised quivering hands to remove her jacket, eyes still unfocused. Levi swallowed, easing her out of the fabric, stiff with blood. He had only seen her like this once, when her parents had died. Back then, she hadn't slept, eaten, or taken care of herself for a month, wandering in her room and indulging herself in titan research and old history books.

He thought he was slowly dying with her. Every night, he had held her as she suffered from nightmares that he couldn't protect her from, as she had gotten skinnier and smaller, almost to the point where he thought she was going to crumble in his arms. There was nothing he could do for her, expect be there.

Now he was scared that the same thing was going to happen. Except this time around, he would be useless and alone in facing his own grief-

_Enough._ He was disgusted with how pessimistic his thoughts were.

Aiding her out of the rest of her clothes and roughly throwing them in the direction of the hamper, Levi guided her towards the tub.

She wouldn't step in. Hanji turned around, eyes flickering, indicating that she acknowledged he was there. She lifted a hand to his face.

"You too…" She urged, slightly gesturing to the water behind her.

His own hair was matted with dried sweat, with the occasional blood stains on his face and clothes. Levi hadn't washed up yet, because he had waited for her.

He leaned into her touch, feeling exhausted, "Alright".

She slowly stepped into the bathtub, causing little waves to ripple. Sitting down, her knees came up to her chest, in the same position that Jane was in only a few hours ago. The memory made her whimper. Levi discarded his clothes and settled in behind her, gently stroking her hair.

"I'm not going to tell you that you're going to be okay, because you know I don't make false promises." Levi said, his fingers combed through her tangled locks.

She responded with a barely noticeable nod.

They silently helped each other wash the grime from their skin, careful of the cuts and bruises that littered their bodies. After they were finished, Hanji took his arms and wrapped them around her, and rubbed circles into his wrists, knowing that he always had kinks in them after wielding his swords for long periods of time. Grateful, Levi pressed kisses onto her neck, and eventually rested his head on her shoulder, mind wandering.

Now, with over half of their friends dead or missing, it got easier to deal with death as it became a common factor in their lives. They were stronger now. Anybody who was still alive knew that at all times, they were constantly risking death. They grew to embrace that fear and fight with it, not against it. If someone died, then people would proudly remember him or her as a soldier who sacrificed themselves for the cause; and then life went on.

However, Hanji was different from just a friend or soldier. Her firm actions and borderline insanity with titans were something that he grew to expect every day. He could drown in her voice, and soothe his pain with the understanding that he saw in her eyes. She understood how they both functioned the same way. They would hurt silently, but they could cope if they both hurt together. The two simply needed each other.

Levi felt… balanced, with Hanji. He was insecure, though he barely showed it. He needed to hear signs of agreement, little comments to urge him on. The only people who did were Erwin, Jane, and Hanji. Well, now it was Erwin and Hanji.

Shivering, he felt warmth leave his body. He didn't have many people that he loved in this world to begin with. If anything, he had to die before they did. He wouldn't last alone. He couldn't. Goosebumps rose on his arms.

The water was cold.

Hanji had started to sleep in Levi's arms, snuggling up next to him for body heat.

"Love you, Levi." She mumbled. "We're gonna be okay…"

Hugging her tightly, he pressed a kiss to her head. He knew she had said it because it was what he needed to hear.

They were strong.

They were going to be fine.

* * *

iii. Erwin

Humanity had won for the first time- but no one would know better than himself, that victories have consequences. Too many soldiers had died for anyone to celebrate. Bodies littered the base. Some thought they were dead, some were dying, some wanted to die, and some were already dead, but no one had noticed. The smell reeked no matter where you went, that overwhelming iron smell mixed with the odor of titan blood had no mercy on anyone. It was redolent of death, foul and permanent. It sunk into the skin and latched on, pulling the mental state of a soldier deep into the darkness of his or her mind. Ones who hadn't perished in the fight were not lucky to be spared. They withered away on the inside, and it showed. He had seen enough gray, lifeless eyes pass by him, feet dragging to nowhere.

Erwin took a breath through his mouth, and regretted it as soon as he did it. That god awful smell had numbed his tongue. His eyes stung as the saliva in his mouth suddenly tasted bitter and salty, making him feel lightheaded. Rubbing his temples, he suddenly pulled his hand away from his face in disgust. Washing his hands four times, scrubbing raw into his skin, did nothing to dampen the stench emanating from his fingertips.

It had been four days since Hanji came back, and he was tired. He had been making rounds for the past few days, to every squadron he had left, checking for the extent of the casualties, holding soldier's hands as they drifted from their lives, keeping his calm, serious exterior as stable as possible so he could be a pillar of strength for the comrades that looked up to him with respect. Erwin knew he needed a break, but he was too desperate. He needed to keep moving, keep his mind on other things, because he couldn't bear to think about her. Any time he spent doing nothing was torture; so he worked himself to exhaustion, using extra time pouring over old books about strategies and maneuvers, and once in a while going out for a run at night. He couldn't sleep either, because he would then dream about her too.

But right now, there really wasn't anything to do. Levi had found him half asleep at the lookout tower, sitting and leaning against the wall. He had finished a position on watch, but couldn't find the strength to get up. As a result, he had been laying there for hours, unable to help himself from thinking of her.

"You look like shit." Levi said, lowering himself to slump down on the ground.

Erwin stared tiredly at him, taking in his appearance. The corporal didn't look so good himself. In fact, he looked like hell.

"Ditto."

Levi gave a small snort in reply.

Silenced ensued between them.

They all took Jane's death hard, as they had been close friends. Hanji and Erwin went through training with her and Levi had known her for the past three years. She had been the peacekeeper and mother hen of the four. No one could stay mad at her for long, as she could easily understand them, most of all, Erwin. The constantly calculating and grim face had been one of many reasons why many people couldn't approach him. Jane hadn't been fazed at all when they first met. She had decided that he was going to be friends with "Mr. Grumpy" (her nickname for him), and he didn't refuse.

But now, she wasn't there anymore.

Bringing him out of his spiraling sorrow, Levi commanded him to get to bed, assuring him that he would make the rounds tonight. After asking him how Hanji was doing, the black-haired man had stiffened.

"Not good."

Erwin tried to give what he thought was a consolatory nod and turned to walk towards the sleeping quarters. He scratched his cheek, losing himself in his thought. Stubble dotted his chin and up the sides of his face. Jane had always liked it like that, she had said he looked like more "approachable and homey", but he had just grinned at her and shaved it away, keeping up his impeccable, clean-cut military standard. Levi must have rubbed off of on him. He rubbed the bristly hairs-

"I'm sure you already know this…" Levi called out carefully, "but Jane told Hanji to tell you that she loves you."

Turning left, Erwin decided to check up on the stables.

* * *

Opening his eyes, Erwin found himself back in his bed. He frowned in confusion and sat up, wincing as his head ached.

A note by his bedside explained it all: Hey, I knocked you out so you could get some sleep. – Levi

A red cloth was neatly folded next to it. Erwin snatched it up quickly, bunching his fingers in the smooth fabric. It must have fallen out of his back pocket.

_It was the time when Jane decided to get back at Levi for ignoring Hanji for a week after the scientist had nearly burned off his eyebrows in an experiment involving titan blood and gunpowder. Jane had dressed up in her usual uniform, put on a wig imitating Levi's hair, and ran around screaming with a handkerchief around her face, gasping in the most feminine matter and pointing out random things, saying: "Oh my, that's far too dirty. Levi should clean it up!" _

_ She had been spouting nonsense, waving a feather duster, and referring to the brusque corporal in the third person for two and a half hours with all the men and women laughing and hooting, until Levi had finally come down from his room and apologized to Hanji, who didn't really care at the time, since she was too busy clutching her stomach and rolling on the ground. At that exact moment, Jane had used her 3D gear to swing up and clean the windows… with her butt._

_ Levi had chased her around base once she got down, and Jane had ripped off the handkerchief and thrown it at Erwin when she ran past him, winking mischievously. _

It was the same handkerchief that was in his hand now.

God, he loved her. She emitted a warmth that was almost impossible to recreate. Constantly happy, compassionate, and empathetic to everybody, no one could find a reason to dislike her. Jane was what Erwin thought was the closest to perfect he had ever seen.

He loved her, and he didn't even get to tell her. Erwin cried silently.

That wasn't true either. He did try to tell her.

Before the mission, he had pulled her aside.

_ "What's wrong?" Jane had asked, concerned. Erwin, with a strong grip on her hand, kept his eyes focused completely on her._

_ He took a breath to calm himself. All of last night he had talked himself through what he was going to say._

_ "I love you." He mumbled, and forced himself to look her straight in the eyes when hearing her response._

_ Jane let out a loud laugh and tiptoed to muss up his hair. _

_ "I know that, dummy. Love you too."_

_ She galloped away to catch up with Levi, gently nudging him. The man nodded, smirking._

_ Erwin swore under his breath. She didn't get it. Sure, he already knew that she loved him as a friend, but it was in the same way as she loved Levi and Hanji. He didn't want it to be that way._

Damn it.

"Fuck!" Erwin cursed, running his hands through his hair. He whimpered, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Right now, he couldn't be the The Commander. He couldn't be the man who was ready to give everything, everyone up, for the cause. The brusque, level-headed leader that represented the epitome of humanity's hope.

He felt small.

He wasn't ready to give Jane up.

He was ready to wake up from this nightmare.

Levi burst into his room, eyes frantically searching for someone. As they landed on him, the corporal stopped.

"Jane's back." He said.

Erwin met his stare dead on. _Fuck, am I this far gone? I swear he said that Jane was back. Back from what? The dead? _He thought he was hallucinating now. He was hearing the impossible, from Levi, the most straightforward, blunt soldier on the force. Laughing sadly, he looked at the handkerchief that was still in his grasp.

"Dammit, Erwin. Get the hell up and go see her. She's alive." Levi ordered, coming closer to grab the Commander by the scruff of his jacket. Despite the height difference, Erwin was easily hauled out of his room, but it wasn't much of fight. He let Levi pull him towards the infirmary, still unable to understand what was happening.

"Scouts picked her up this morning after they spotted her a few meters from the wall. She was barely conscious." Levi explained, relief clear in his voice. "She's a little beat up, but she's fine."

_Jane… is alive?_

* * *

iii. Jane

"I'm not dead yet!" She let out a bloodcurdling war cry, lifting the last of her sharpest swords into position. Her body was aching,

She couldn't give up, because that would mean she was accepting defeat. If she didn't fight back, she would never be able to win.

Surveying the area, there were three titans to her left, and two to her right.

Estimating her options, she swore. There was only one idea in her head, but it was considered an old joke she had made with Levi during maneuver practice.

"Am I really going to do this?"

She would use the wires of her gear, for whips.

Cutting the wires off her gear would surely blunt the edge of one of the two sharp swords she had left. Would she make that risk? What if the wires didn't cut? Jane had never tried it, and she might waste a blade in the process.

She kicked open the door to a nearby building, bounding up the stairs to get to the roof. It would be the only way she could possibly reach the neck of a titan to kill it, if the whip idea didn't work. She would take down one, or maybe two, if she still had enough energy to dodge swipes and run up the stairs of a building again. There was no way she could live if her original plan didn't work.

She sat down on the last steps before the roof landing, clipping off her broken gear. Taking a deep breath, she started unrolling the wire in her lap. When she reached what seemed to be a good length, Jane took out one of her swords. Praying it would cut, she hacked at the metal cable.

Tears sprung to her eyes, it had only made a slight nick. She could hear the titans' heavy thumping, heels crashing into the street. They were getting closer. There wasn't enough time to cut it. She was going to die. Swearing, she kept hacking at the wire. At the rate she was going, it was at least going to take a few more minutes. The titans would reach in her less than a minute, by her guess.

Grasping the wire firmly in the left hand, she began to saw at it, ignoring the prickling sensation of the metal biting into her fingers. If there was any chance of her getting out of this alive, she would take it. She could bear any pain over getting ripped apart and eaten.

Finally, the wire split, and Jane chucked her gear down the stairs after throwing the blunt swords away and drawing her remaining sharp one.

Sword in her right hand, and the whip held tightly in her left hand, she walked out onto the roof.

Suddenly, one titan reached for her, and she snapped the whip. It cracked against the large fingers, and an echoing moan filled the air. Jane quickly jumped on to the titan's back, thrusting her sword at the neck. It fell to the ground.

A sense of relief flooded her. The whip had actually worked! Staring at it in amazement, loud thumping broke her from her reverie.

A five-meter class was nearing on her left.

She flung the whip, snapping it at the ankles of a titan. It made a sound of protest, and fell to the ground. Swiping at the back of its heels, she ran up the leg and up the spine, slicing deep at the back of the neck.

Jane leaped off the titan and ran for the nearest road leading to the wall. Maybe she could do it, she could go back alive.

Turning the corner, she bumped into something, stumbling backwards and losing her grip on her sword. It clattered to the concrete, a few feet away.

"Oh, fuck." She had literally run into the direction of what looked like a ten-meter titan. Blond hair topped its head, and she immediately compared it to Erwin's for a moment.

Nope, not even close.

What the hell was she doing, likening hair styles at a moment like this?

It lumbered over, a huge hand reaching to pick her up. Her whip was tangled up around her legs, temporarily incapacitating her from getting away. Rough fingers clamped around her middle and she felt like one of her ribs cracked. Maybe it did.

The hand brought her towards a gaping mouth, large blood-stained teeth dripping with a pinkish saliva.

She squirmed, trying to pull her whip out. The metal wire burned against her white uniform pants, tearing into the fabric and biting against her skin. Letting out a scream, she yanked it as hard as she could, feeling it cut a thick line across her thigh. Jane couldn't even feel it. The only thing she could smell was rotting flesh, a warm putrefying odor that was coming closer.

The whip came free, and she pulled it out of the titan's grasp. Flinging her wrist back, she brought the wire down to lash the giant face in front of her. She saw it strike the right eye.

Suddenly, she was falling.

The impact when she hit the ground nearly shattered her skull. Jane could barely see straight, everything was spinning, but she knew that she had to get away fast. The titan wasn't dead. She wasn't sure how much damage her whip had inflicted. Her legs lay collapsed, probably broken. She didn't even want to check, the adrenaline pumping through her had kept the pain at a slight numbness.

Painfully army-crawling away, Jane felt the negativity of her situation crushing her. She was moving at the pace of an ant, and there were at least three titans in the neighboring area. The titan she had whipped was still surprisingly disabled, two disproportional hands holding its face.

Gritting her teeth, she wriggled away, elbows banging unpleasantly on the pavement.

She just had to keep going.

It didn't even matter where, just away. Just away from that smell. The dripping teeth. The huge soulless, unemotional eyes.

Get away.

She was still alive.

She could make it.

Arms thumping, uniform scraping.

Go.

She had made it down a couple blocks.

She had turned a corner.

"I'm… I'm, not dead… yet." She croaked, feeling completely drained.

She was somewhat close to the wall, but she had fallen behind a shed, partially obscuring the view of her from any of the scouting spots.

Hopefully, they'd see her.

She had tried her hardest.

* * *

Is this how it felt to die? You get all your memories with your best buds to rush at you in your final moments?

Jane groaned, getting flashbacks of funny moments when she practiced outrageous 3D maneuvers and cleaned extra rooms with Levi. She remembered that dumb smirk that he always wore when he managed to finish something faster than her, and then those rare moments when he laughed so hard, she and Hanji joked that he turned into a different person. She thought of the times when she pondered over the mysteries of titans and stayed up all night reading old fairy tales with Hanji, and Erwin and Levi would find them in the morning, tangled up in the blankets and in hysterics, repeating hilarious titan names that they had made up at three a.m. As most of them were fuzzy in her memories, she could barely recall one: a Sir Erwinneous Leviathon, the third. She grinned, and then winced as something moved her. The adrenaline and pounding in her head had been going on for so long that they no longer worked as a painkiller.

Something poked her in the side, and she flailed against something that held her down. Jane saw fluorescent spots in her vision, pulsing in the blackness of her closed eyes.

Was dying… really this uncomfortable?

"Jane!"

She felt like hell had ripped through her. Everything felt excruciating to move.

Opening her eyes, she blinked at the harsh light above. A familiar voice echoed to her right.  
"Jane! Jane! It's Hanji!"

A blurry view of her friend swung back and forth in her vision.

Was Hanji dead too? Was she dying right now too? Did she get intercepted by a titan on the way there?

Jane laughed, chuckling at the cruelty of it all. She sent her best friend off alone to live, and both of them died.

A sob bubbled up in her throat and she laughed and then cried, emotions flooding her.

If she had known this would happen, she would have just let Hanji stay with her. They could have died together.

She was scared. She didn't want to die by herself, if she could have the choice of dying with someone else. The road to death was long, and lonely.

Hanji's image disappeared.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she clawed at the blackness. A variety of sounds mixed together, assaulting her ears. She couldn't tell anything apart.

"I don't want to die alone!" She screamed at nothing. Grabbing her shoulders, she rocked herself, crying.

_Where was heaven? Or was she not even going there? She was going to hell? For killing so much? _

Shivering, Erwin's face flashed through her, and induced her to start bawling once again.

She didn't even get to tell him she loved him.

* * *

When she had woken up, Hanji had been by the side of her bed.

"We thought you were dead!" Her friend had wailed, hugging her tightly. Jane jumped slightly at the sudden hug, but immediately returned the embrace.

Surprisingly, she didn't feel horrible as she thought she would be. She just… looked bad. Her ribs were set and bound tightly, with bandages trailing her hands, wrists, and her legs were in som-

Levi slammed the door of her patient room open, dragging someone behind him with ease. He glanced at Jane, now alert. She blinked, everything moving around her too fast after she had just woken up. Opening her arms to give him a hug, Levi shook his head, giving her a small, comforting smile.

"I brought you someone." Carelessly, he cast his blond baggage to the ground next to the bedside.

A familiar head of blond slumped in front of her, slowly rising.

She just wasn't ready to see the utterly broken look in those blue eyes. How exposed his emotions were… it seemed like a violation of his privacy. Erwin was gazing at her with shock and wonder; he didn't believe that she was real. Jane bit back tears, feeling relief flood her body to just look at Erwin. She thought she was never going to see him again. She thought she was never going to see anyone again.

Glancing over at Levi and Hanji, they just motioned to the man crumpled by her bedside.

She reached over to pat his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy." Her voice was hoarse.

"It's Jane, Erwin." Hanji asserted him from the other side of the bed.

The commander of the Survey Corps stared at the hand that had just touched him, scrutinizing how real it looked. His clouded eyes began to clear, the striking pale blue of his eyes coming into focus.

She recognized the expression on his face. Erwin was going to lose control of his emotions, soon, and he didn't want to show them to as many people as possible. He felt too vulnerable.

Before she could say anything, Levi swept over to Hanji's side, took her hand and gently led her to the door. She gripped his hand tightly, silently letting him lead her out.

"We'll come check up on you, tomorrow, kay?" The brunette said softly.

Once the door closed, Erwin rested heavily against the bedside.

"I love you." He said quickly.

"I kno-"

"No!" He lifted his voice, and Jane shrunk back from him. Erwin only used that voice when he was extremely frustrated. Before she could ask what was wrong, he grasped her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm and then flipping it over to kiss the inside of her wrist.

"No…" Erwin repeated softly, "I love you…"

"I love you…" He stood slowly, and leaned over her, glancing at her lips. "…like this."

Jane craned her head and popped up to give him a kiss.

"I wanted to tell you the same thing."

Erwin froze at her words, and then leaned down to peck her on the forehead. Something wet dribbled down her cheek, and Jane pushed at his chest so she could see his face.

The tears shimmered down the heavy bags under his eyes.

"When did you last sleep?" She questioned.

A puzzled look on his face, Erwin started out, "I…"

"C'mere." She pulled him into bed next to her. He shuffled close to her, drawing Jane close to him.

The man in his arms erupted into tears, trying to bury himself in her embrace.

"I thought you were dead, I'm sorry, I should have gone in your group. I love you. I love you." He murmured in between muffled cries. "I can't lose you, I can't lead anymore, I'm not… I'm not the Commander…"

Jane wept silently, hushing him.

"It's okay. It's okay, Erwin… We're both fine."

They held each other, indulging in their relief at the reality of the situation.

They were alive.

They loved each other.

They were fine.

* * *

I hope it wasn't too OOC, because I wanted to kind of follow the whole impact that death has on people. I felt like the manga always has them as really serious characters most of the time, so I wanted to show their inner selves and how vulnerable they can be when something bad happens to a person they love. Anyways, thanks for reading!


End file.
